It’s true…..

by RoachKiller

I have officially hit old age! This episode of ankle tendons is the most painful yet!

I’ll be buying a cane for the truck! It’s like always having a stash of antibiotics. You never know when you might need them. I promise it’s a bigger pain in the ass to get them on the road than you think…..

So a cane it is! God damn this episode fucking hurts hard!

Yes I’m naked! Y’all wanna fuck? And that was the simplest way to ice my foot! Omg I’ll be doing that again shortly!

And yet I work on…..

How cool is that…

by RoachKiller

I called the 800 number attached to the new Kingstown Google listing for Schaefer. And lo and hold the guy who answered the phone sounded exactly like Lispy!

Yeah, you know lispy! I’ve talked about him before he seems to be everywhere I call in Nebraska! Yeah, now he’s answering the phone for Schaffer! Figure that one out…..

The cool thing about…..

by RoachKiller

Being flat footed and tall? Well besides not having to get a ladder for much around the house.

Or having to join the armed services!

I get some cool things!

Like not being able to fully straighten my legs while driving! Doesn’t matter how far the seat is back! Unless you’re driving a peterbuilt with old school eldorado air seats!

You ain’t stretching!

So eventually what will happen is you will start getting cramps in your legs! Nothing to bad! Just ritual cramps, for wich you can stop by wearing compression shorts! Like I do! ( added bonus, they are tight enough I don’t sit on my testicles any more either! )

Eventually those cramps will reappear in your ankles and feet! On average once or twice a year! Those cramps will happen in your sleep! Won’t even wake you up! You will however feel them the next day! To the point your entire foot and ankle are swelled up, big time!

To the point every step feels like the worst leg cramp you ever done had!

In a few days, as long as you don’t sit funky! The pain will subside, in a few days after that you will be back to normal!

See the exciting benefits of being tall, flat footed and a world renowned truck driver! 😉

Ladies, this is a the secret to a long prosperous relationship! FYI!

Hey driver……

by RoachKiller

I just saw your old lady drive-by in that Honda Toyota SUV thingy you guys own

Normally, I wouldn’t care because this is the usual road troll shit!

But I saw her and I can’t get the mental picture out of my head. Of your skinny little ass taking a shit on her chest. While she’s sucking another guy off!

I have come across some serious perversions over the years. That is a new one on me! I’ve never been able to understand scat play…….

Liars……

by RoachKiller

Fall to hell…….

You would know that if you actually read that book you say you believe in!

Anyone…..

by RoachKiller

With half a brain knows what’s getting ready to happen!

Oddly, except for you people…..

Me I’m just keeping to myself, minding my very own business……

Cus I’m a cowboy baby…..

by RoachKiller

Shit sucked! Going there I ran into a wall of slush about 3 inches on the ground and just fucking blizzard style slush!

Then on the way out general snow. the temp was below 32! Watch out on the bridges where it’s a giant sheet of fucking ice!

It was doable if you took your time. But be very careful of those fucking bridges! The longer you wait the darker it gets the worse it’s gonna be!

Me I’m gonna have some bacon wrapped pork tokens, and call it a day here soon. Maybe your old lady will come out and give me a handy who knows….

Hause…..

by RoachKiller

The company road trolls are putting on the exact same show they have been doing the last 23 years I’ve worked here!

Long before smart phones, blogs and all the rest of the bullshit!

Same show, different batch of stupid, added bonus, atleast it’s a different day!

Why would you…..

by RoachKiller

Call? When I have a texting communication device in my truck called a peoplenet ?

And considering this is 3 days later….. and if you have the best of the best? Why are you having to recover a truck?

Uh oh…..

by RoachKiller

Just received a message about spring cleaning your truck!

Oh no, does this mean when you pull into a terminal. Management is going to search your truck again and tell you to wipe off your dash?

I wondered when y’all were going to do that power move again! God, been what 21 years since salt lake did that to us!

From what I’m seeing y’all are gunna be spending some time cleaning off all the shit you have piled up on your dashboards…..

Better get to it now!