Category: Weather

Cus I’m a cowboy baby…..

by RoachKiller

Shit sucked! Going there I ran into a wall of slush about 3 inches on the ground and just fucking blizzard style slush!

Then on the way out general snow. the temp was below 32! Watch out on the bridges where it’s a giant sheet of fucking ice!

It was doable if you took your time. But be very careful of those fucking bridges! The longer you wait the darker it gets the worse it’s gonna be!

Me I’m gonna have some bacon wrapped pork tokens, and call it a day here soon. Maybe your old lady will come out and give me a handy who knows….

Oh now…..

by RoachKiller

I’m really fucking sore! Today I got to throw maximum chains! All to drive on wet roads for 30 miles!

First of all I was shocked I had 6 rails that were all intact.

Second of all California is really pushing this chain law shit!

Third of all, I’m officially tired of snow!

Best part is, I now have a nail in one tire and a chunk of chain in the other! You can dodge lost chains in the middle of the road! You can’t dodge broken links in the road! ( you can’t see them! )

FYI, supposed to be a blizzard up there tonight in Truckee…..

Yet considering this is the 3rd season using these same chains! I’m pretty sure they have earned there keep! Too bad most will have to be thrown away after this season! They are fubard!

And that’s why I usually wear my carhartt winter bibs when chaining! Except it wasn’t snowing…..

Rusty chains will do it to ya every time!

A new record set…

by RoachKiller

Only seven hours from the 76 south of Phoenix to the bug station! And a half hour of that was just trying to get through the bug station. The other five hours was just trying to get over Ashland!

On a good note I only had to throw chains once! excluding the two chains that broke! I am impressed as these are the same chains. I got brand new when I got the truck brand new so we’re talking three-year-old chains!

I will tell you I will sleep extremely well tonight!

Even though tripcheck.com, said no restrictions, carry chains or traction devices!

And this is the asshole up right in the middle of the fucking road so no one can get by, to throw chains!

I will tell you today has proven the exact reason for the term “ trucker tarded!” The saying “ a group is only as smart as the person with the lowest IQ.”

Is fucking spot on!

I finally…..

by RoachKiller

Get to the chain check and they tell me that just put chains required back into effect! So i got turned around there!

Then a lovely b&b truck just stops in the middle of the turn around detour! So that’s where we all were stuck throwing chains!

It gets better!

So I make it about a mile and hear the infamous thud of chains on metal! Fuck! My drag chains broke a link! So I run that thing till I get to a good spot to change it out!

Right as I finish tightening the last cam adjuster. A state crew guy walks buy and says, “ chain law has been lifted!”

I cried a little over that one…..

Bastard!

Oh so you want…..

by RoachKiller

To know what Houston is like right now? The highway is slushy for the most part! They are NOT deicing the bridges! Big, long, small, short, they are being left as is and they are slick as fuck!

Surface roads are slush, other than that driving through Houston is like driving through a big town on Xmas day…..

Oh and everything, and I mean everything is closed!

P.s. as of typing this it has begun snowing again! Very lightly but yes it’s snowing! Temp is 30°’s and maintaining!

This is what it looked like into Conroe from the rest area at the 124 on I-45…..

Like Xmas morning, awwww! Or the day after a hurricane…. Awwwww

This years frozen……

by RoachKiller

Windshield wiper fluid reservoir fix!

this one was a motherfucker! The washer fluid froze somewhere down there in New Mexico when it was -8°. So I did my ritual throw in a little bit of rubbing alcohol and that should be that.

No, It didn’t do a fucking thing! So to remedy this, I had to stop and buy 2 pint size bottles or quart size bottles of rubbing alcohol from Wally world. A new gallon of off the shelf washer fluid. And a gallon of 2020 mixed with water and a small hint of antifreeze, small drip.

So I had to pour a full quart of rubbing alcohol into the fresh bottle of washer fluid. A Drop of antifreeze with alcohol into the gallon of water in 2020.

Now, finally after almost a week of no washer fluid, I finally have a fucking washer fluid!

Praise, sweet baby Jesus…..

PS to you drivers going the other way. Yes that is ice all over the side of this trailer and snow all over the back of the trailer and the white stuff on the tractor is left over from when I ran over that meth dealer couple weeks ago…..

What did I tell you……

by RoachKiller

I told you I was fucking psychic, and I was going to prove it to you when we hit Wyoming!

Did I not say, “ we will see at least one Amazon truck in the ditch somewhere between Rawlings and Cheyenne?”

Told you I was fucking psychic! That’s number two first one was on elk second one was right before Sinclair!

Ha, I win now fuck off!

How to keep…..

by RoachKiller

Your truck from jackknifing!

I have found the easiest way to keep my truck from jackknifing it’s simple. Is by not putting myself in a situation where my truck could possibly jackknife!

And if I am in a situation where I have to keep driving, I slow, way the fuck down and use extreme caution…..

Duh!

Most of all if it’s a situation where I just gotta keep going to get to a place to park.

You know one of those butthole puckering rides.

I’ve been known to pull off, slap on a set of single rails, maybe a drag chain or two and get on down the road!

The greatest thing……

by RoachKiller

I heard on the news today. Was a guy say come on out the roads are great. There’s nothing out here to hit! cause I’m the only moron on the road.!

That made me laugh so hard……

Driver your fucked…..

by RoachKiller

You and your boyfriend never should have stopped in Seville! Another 5 miles and you were clear all the way down!

I’m not making fun of your sexuality! I’m just trying to help you see. Everyone already knows you’re a gay trainer!

Now you’re also fucked as that snow was coming down hard and the fact it’s now below 20 degrees. Also means all this shit is ice now!

Now you and your friend have plenty of time to switch positions! Top, bottom, bottom, top…..

Remember to wear a condom!

I have really…..

by RoachKiller

Got to stop putting these bad boys on right after a shower!

Warm as fuck!

Don’t worry, the low iq’ers will say they are yoga pants! lol, no they are men’s thermal running pants or tights!

Nothing female or gay about them! Considering my buddy who wore the cold version of these over in Iraq during the war……