Category: Road Food

I’m not even…..

by RoachKiller

Going to wipe my ass with sand paper! I already know the results! I have learned zero from this class! I’m actually at the point I’m trying to keep myself awake!

And of course the instructor knows more….. blah, blah, blah…..

What an absolute fucking waste! Of my fucking time!

As I said, I’ve literally spent this whole time trying to just stay awake from the pure boredom!

So many fucking things wrong with this shit….. but hey what do I know…..

Don’t you hate…..

by RoachKiller

It when you forget to turn your phone off of video?

I wonder how many of little Bo peeps sheep were there…..

Roflmao!

Either way I got my strawberry milk and bbq rib sandwiches! Praise sweet baby Jesus!

Are they have the bacon wrap pork pelicans for four for five bucks always a good deal! And if there’s a granny there at the fixing bar before you. Always elbow her a kid run her that old bag is gonna steal all the fucking tomatoes.!

Reminded me of Back when I was a kid and we go to Norths chuck wagon with grandma and she would take the big purse….

Oh and princess’s…..

by RoachKiller

Remember when you’re cranking out those ai powered truck videos. I always have this lock on the trailer and that yellow bar in my load lock rack!

There is only 1 other driver at this company that I know of that has that broom handle riding on the back of a blue truck!

Oh and don’t forget I also have access to the exact same ai creator as you do! What comes around can and will go around! Comprende’?

Always so

by RoachKiller

Disappointing to finally find a fucking buffet! Then find out you can’t eat nearly as much as your brain thinks it can!

In my defense, I did have a big dinner last night! Along with 2 killer biscuits this morning!

Left the soul food behind and went for the southern comfort foods! Mmmm!

Never been to this place before! It’s like bucees only for fat, redneck truck drivers….

Notice what it says at the bottom…..

Added bonus, I just took a shit next to George Jones’s barn door!

Your welcome!

Here’s another……

by RoachKiller

Qowinky dinky! I set up my old phone with that free cell plan! My old beat to hell work phone right?

Well I have sent and received but 1 text this entire month since setting it up! Lo and behold, it says I have sent and received 10 texts!

I’m checking known and unknown messages, checking the phone log files, everything!

I have found those texts were sent via one of the companies apps! Huh, how strange….. isn’t it!

Coke Zero, orange cream good! Dr.pecker, strawberries and cream good but way too sweet for me…..

Here’s another……

by RoachKiller

Qowinky dinky! I set up my old phone with that free cell plan! My old beat to hell work phone right?

Well I have sent and received but 1 text this entire month since setting it up! Lo and behold, it says I have sent and received 10 texts!

I’m checking known and unknown messages, checking the phone log files, everything!

I have found those texts were sent via one of the companies apps! Huh, how strange….. isn’t it!

Coke Zero, orange cream good! Dr.pecker, strawberries and cream good but way too sweet for me…..

I do believe…..

by RoachKiller

That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen a driver do! Drop a hot dog on the floor! Pick it up, wipe it off and continue putting the fixens on!

Honestly I gagged a bit when I saw that…..

Dude, you toss that hot dog and start fresh!

You want an example…..

by RoachKiller

This is the batch of stupid I deal with! Obviously must have been your sister, wife or even your fucking mom!

Anyways, I go into subway and ask the lady behind the counter! Hey I want a cold cut combo foot long?

I want one with veggies on it so how much is it? She says, you will have to get a ready made one out of the cooler. I can then put veggies on it as we don’t have it on the menu! I said ok, cool!

I pay for it, and she then proceeds to put it in a bag and hand it to me! I’m like, I bought it thinking I can get veggies on it!

She goes, dead serious “ oh we can’t put veggies on ready made sandwiches!” I kid ye not! That’s the batch of stupid I deal with out here on the road!

Luckily I got a receipt! So I’ll definitely be contacting corporate… cus that batch of stupid shouldn’t be allowed to do a cash register or even hold a knife…..

Wear a …..

by RoachKiller

Condom driver! Wear a condom every time!

Wouldn’t you agree, the world only needs one batch of your stupid?

See there is no way I can compete! You have a never ending supply of morons! All against one little ole me! Oddly I’m surprised I’ve lasted this long without bbq’ing one of your “ friends!”

Which reminds me, I need briquettes and a new fillet knife…..

Dude, like…..

by RoachKiller

I was bobtailing through Memphis a few weeks ago looking for an empty. Got thirsty and stopped at a dive gas station, bodega!

Went inside and was astonished at what I done saw!

A row of machines just like this. Except with a flavored kool-aid packet taped to the front of each machine! Representing the flavor of kool-aid inside!

Omg, that was like Disneyland, knots berry farm and the aquatic park all wrapped into one!

I got orange and it was AWESOME!

Since the slackers…..

by RoachKiller

Are once again telling me I’m gunna be fired! Immediately! I had better stock up on these glorious morsels of dead cow!

Oh hell yea!

Praise sweet baby Jesus, steak and shake was invented!

All hail’s the steak and shake!

FYI, my favs are the original double and the garlic burger! Mmmmm!

Dude like really…..

by RoachKiller

So according to your friend who is a Chinese national! Chocolate poodles taste better than white poodles!

Fuck yea, next time that fucker is on my property I’m firing up the grill and we’re gunna have some poodle brisket!

I would grill up the geezer too but according to the “real cannibals”! Old people steaks are tough and gamy!

These tri-tips on the other hand were perfection! Excellent steak sandwich, meat!

Twas great……

by RoachKiller

Only thing is, after eating it I had an explosive poop! Not a little, a massive explosive poop. I even heard it Go.Thud when I hit the bowl!

Good thing I didn’t have to wipe using only my fingers, that would’ve been a fucking mess!

What is up…..

by RoachKiller

With you greedy woman? You would think after orgasm 6 you would be fulfilled!

Nope you want me to give you number 7! When do I get this kind of service?

I buy you a $40 Salyers steak, so why am I…..

FYI, tried the 12oz sirloin tonight at Salyers . As all my life I only got the prime rib! Tried something new! Twas as fabulous as the prime rib! Bravo!

Definitely far better than that 1lb tbone I got at the ta over In New Mexico a couple weeks ago!

You know it was good when the meat sweets hit mid steak!