Category: Ford Fender

From what I’m…..

by RoachKiller

Seeing. Troll life is rolling you and your sheeplings pretty damn hard, mutton!

Whatya expect though? The trucker tarded gene courses through y’all’s veins with vigor! unlike that chromosome your kids missing.….

No, you really short people and I mean really short like under 5 foot. Realize us taller people aren’t looking at you because we find you attractive or you look weird. We’re looking at you because we wanna make sure we don’t step on you when we walk by!

Cause a lot like little kids, you’re shifty and darty, just like little kids running around!

So remember, we don’t find you attractive. We’re not gonna hit on you. We’re trying to make sure we don’t step on you…….

P.s…. Also, granny you should stay away from McDonald’s at your age! That shit is way too high sodium……

Yup, it’s really a…..

by RoachKiller

Guitar, paco! No it is not an ak, rifle or any other weapon of mass destruction!

So when you ask, I love replying with, “ I can neither confirm or deny this to be a weapon!”

That too oddly sends a shiver up most people’s spine…..

Don’t worry driver, I don’t like to “ show off” a $3000 guitar in front of people who were probably recently in prison…..

How do you…..

by RoachKiller

Explain to someone that they wouldn’t like your music? I have never said, “ I play satanic death metal” to anyone and got a reasonable reply! Except to people who are into satanic death metal! Or even metal at all! lol!

So I don’t even bother pointing people to where they can listen to what I’ve done!

It entertains me though, listening to there stories of the bands they were in…..

Makes me giggle…..

Just like if I were to tell people my pen name for the porn tracks I’ve recorded…..

lol…..

by RoachKiller

I’ve been working on a song called, “sacrifice the whore”. The wife said if I ever post a song to iTunes or Spotify she will be the first one to buy it!

Roflmao, I’m thinking about releasing “ Mary had a little dead lamb!”….. I wonder if she will buy that?

Awwwww…..

by RoachKiller

The White Castle is definitely working its colon blow magic! Praise Jesus!

On a good note, my daughter called me today to give me the low down on my future grandkids! Bwoop bwoop!

1 will be a boy! While the other will be a boy! Fraternal twins! Both looking healthy and complete! Oddly, it also sounds like they have all the proper chromosomes! ( figure that one out poser! )

I am an excited future grandpa! Already explaining that I will babysit any time! I do not wipe butts though! ( except in extreme emergencies! ) That’s grandmas gig!

I am still hoping a 3rd baby sack will be found so I can say “ ha, told ya so!” 😉

Most of all, I’m looking forward to doting the future mom with everything her dad can give!

Love ya Les!

She has…..

by RoachKiller

Been found! One of the neighbors scooped her up!! She’s micro chipped etc! Still makes you stress!

From what the neighbor said, little Mika was covered in mud! Guessing she went on one hell of an adventure…..

She earned it….. 😉

I play with……

by RoachKiller

Both hands! My dominant guitar playing hand is righty!

Learning to play ambidextrously not only helped revive tendons that were fucked up from years of driving truck. ( you can still see a bit on my right hand middle finger! Wich is 10 x’s better than it was just 5 years ago…. Ho!

It also means I can finger a chick with both hands, with orgasmic results!

Always thinking of you natural born ladies!

It’s a bright, bright sun shinny day……

Donated to the …..

by RoachKiller

Throw him in the fire fund! 3 guitars, an Ibanez art 200, Michael Kelly 53 telecaster and a Godin sessions telecaster!

All in mint condition! As they tell me I can’t pay the remainder of the burning fee via credit card unless I’m there in person…..

Those 3 guitars should easily bring $650 to $750…..

Well good luck and hopefully it doesn’t get too hot!

It’s a joke! Really, in times like this jokes are a relief from reality! Morbid yes, but I’m also a metal head…..

Since my brothers harmony les Paul copy isn’t worth anything! I figure I’ll get it all fixed and hang it in the case on the wall!

We will call it, “ Timmy’s guitar!”…..

FYI, it’s one of those plywood harmony les Paul’s from the 70’s….. bolt on neck, etc…..

And if your…..

by RoachKiller

Wondering, yes the bro who passed Xmas eve. Is the tall guy back left! No, the sexy fuck on the right back is me! The 2 punk ass bitches In The front are for another story time!

But ignore his obligatory 80’s goatee! although not as sexy as I, he was able to pull some ladies! He had great potential until drugs and alcohol detoured all that!

If you use a walk in smoker craft oven at your work! Yea, he is the guy who welded all that stainless steal…..

Thank you…..

by RoachKiller

Don’t be Jellz ladies! Even at 5 years old there was plenty of me to go around!

This is pre long hair, tattoos and guitars! Even at 5 I was an expert troutsman!

God damn I love this picture…. That was taken at a little old house. Across the street from the old rocky bute quarry in pdx! A house that at the time this picture was taken. Still had skeleton key door locks…..

If you notice, I even had a bit of Copenhagen in my lip…..