Category: Ford Fender

Damn…..

by RoachKiller

Just think if your parents weren’t such low rent piles of shit, and actually loved and cared about you! You wouldn’t be walking around my hood stealing packages off door steps!

By the way, if I catch you. Those gauges in your ears will be my new wall hangers for wich I will hang my dry cleaning!

Your Jean jackets will be framed along with a small patch of your skin as keepsakes of a job well done!

Who knows maybe I’ll go all Ilse Koch with what’s left….. either way, I win!

Sorry I bought…..

by RoachKiller

The last 2! My old lady has zero decorating skills! We have had the same 2 ikea lights next to the bed for 10+ years!

Lamps I truly hate! They are too low and the chains are impossible to pull!

So I took it upon myself to change that! Waaalaa! ( I spelled it phonetically for those still speaking Ebonics! )

I as an adult man, who has way to much style! 😉 loves alabaster! so this will go great with that floor lamp that I never put together. The one that’s been sitting in the garage for 8 years….. 😉

Don’t be Jellz ladies! I have excellent taste…..

Added bonus, these are uplights and will actually light up the guitars that are now hanging on the wall behind these lamps! Awwwwww!

Why do I…..

by RoachKiller

Wrap all my Christmas presents in black Kraft paper? Tied with twine and use recycled gift tags?

1 – Kraft paper is recyclable unlike regular Xmas paper!

2 – the twine and paper tag give it that old time devil worship vibe! 😉

3 – I really suck at wrapping presents! Yes, it’s true! Black is a very forgiving color! Even when wrapping presents! 😉

But mainly cus everything is recyclable and everyone knows, the black presents are from dad! 🤘

Oh and did I mention you can get 36” x 200’ of the stuff for $40? 😉

I do love, love, love…..

by RoachKiller

Me some Spa, instrumental world music! it makes a great background noise to bang the old lady to!

While your concentration is on your task at hand! It helps keep the brain from being over stimulated and overthinking!

It’s fucking weird how that works!

Anyway, back in the 90’s I loved putting background loop music on my sites!

To this day I don’t do it anymore, but while I’m working it or surfing. I do love me some easy listening…..

Oh and if you ever wonder why the dentist office has this kind of music kinda loud? It’s to drown out the screams! 😉

You high brah…..

by RoachKiller

If this was the only thing I was to get for Xmas! I would be happy as a clam in a bubble bath!

The kids would have fun! I would have fun! Not to mention a serious blast from the past!

Anyone who has ever experienced the gourmet treat that is making and eating jiffy pop knows exactly what I mean…..

Long live jiffy pop!

That would…..

by RoachKiller

Be my wife of 32.5 years, you fucking twat!

This would be an action shot of her wiping the grease off her mouth from the $11.50 slice of pizza at the moda center!

Trans Siberian orchestra…..

by RoachKiller

All I can say is if I had to sit with an ass cheek on that cup holder on the side of the seat any longer! I was gunna beat someone!

Good show, long! Not enough Xmas music! Great musicianship! Why with the fucking cranes over the crowd?

If fire scares you, don’t go! Only difference between the tso show and a slayer show! A slayer show doesn’t have that much fire!

The finale was well needed! As my ass was hurting! the pyro technics were great at the end!

Like I said, good show! I’ll post the video on tik tok later!

Oh and the drunken midget golfer goober from Kgon was there! Yup, I was right, he’s a drunken midget!

And the old lady got to slap hands with the guitar player in the crowd! made her day! 🙂